Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in mike's LiveJournal:

Sunday, July 1st, 2001
11:32 pm	kicked out of Tanya's Hey qt. Today was a good day in the begining but bad in the end. I woke up and fixed the air conditioning on the car and everything with my dad, and then i went to Tanya's dance recital. It was pretty cool. After that i went out to dinner (if you call sizzler dinner) with Tanya's family. (it sucked) Then i came home and had a real dinner of steak. This is where is starts to get bad. Jon's cell phone is fucked up or something right now because he can't answer it and i don't get it and stuff and he was supposed to come over and have dinner with us. Never showed. Started to piss of my mom. Went to blockbuster. Then went to Tanya's. I talked to tanya on her roof for an hour and a half. It was all fun until we had to say good bye!! Her mom gave us two minutes to say goodbye and that almost always takes us longer than that. So we took like three minutes and then her dad came in with the worst look on his face. He told me to get out and that he would show me the door and that Tanya should go to her room. I left and everything thinking about what a fuckin asshole he is and then i can hear him yelling at Tanya from the car. I was inside the car with the windows up and music on while he was inside (all doors and windows closed) and i could still hear him! It made me feel like shit. I don't think i'm going to be going over there for a while now. I think i'm going to stay away from her family period from now on since her mom and dad are assholes. . . . . I dunno what to do. . . . they think i just make out with her all the time and stuff and i'm not usually making out with her. I'm usually talking to her. We just talk about everything and it's great. I dunno why her mom is living in the dark ages, but they think we spend too much time together while i have all of my family telling me i should be spending more time with her which is what Tanya and I believe. I bet she's crying right now into her pillow. I want to call her up just to wake up her parents so that then they can put Tanya on the phone and then we can talk and I can make her feel better. I dunno what to do!!!! I'll talk to her tomorrow and take her out for lunch or dinner. I really need to get more money so that then i can take her out more and get away from her house and then she can get away from mine! I can't wait untill i get a job..........zzzzzzzzzzzzz Current Mood: melancholy (Comment on this)
Friday, June 29th, 2001
8:03 pm	I was having a great day yesterday just hanging out with Tanya. Her church group, jon, an i went to the beach and hung out and stuff fr the day. It was pretty fun. All was good until today. I was supposed to hang out with Tanya today and it was all good. Then Tanya couldn't hang out until later so was stuck at home until 2. I was talking to Jenn who finally gave me her real picture. I don't know why she was so scared of showing me because she looks pretty cute. I think that it'll be cool when she comes out here. Her mom started screaming at her and being abusive though and that was uncool. I'm going to call her later tonight to talk to her. I guess a couple of days ago i said i would hang out with CC before she left for camp. Today is the day before she leaves for camp. I didn't think it was that big of a deal and then she called up and i said i would try to hang out with her but then it was the same time that me and Tanya were supposed to watch a movie. i'm stuck going what do i do because i love my gf and everything and it's bull shit that CC is pushing herself in between us. I told CC i would try to make plans after Tanya had to go. Tanya came over right when she called. I took a shower and then called CC a little after Tanya had arrived. CC was a little mad and was being an ass about it. I was just playing around and so was she but then my sister came in after Tanya started to take it too seriosly. She walked away and then my sister started to talk to her. My sister is very protective over me and hates anyone who decides to make conflict in my life. CC sounded like one of the biggest problems and was not looking too good. My sister took the phone from me and hung up on her. That wasn't too good. Since i was with my gf and she was about to go into tears i just said fuck CC i'm going to be with my Tanya. I hung out with Tanya for the rest of the day. It was nice and fun. We watched a movie and everything was good. I mowed the lawn and then made tanya late with another long goodbye that we do. She was late and so then i got up and went to the comp and got on and started talking to CC who was supposed to be gone to her grandmas. Now CC is totally pissed at me and now it sux. She hates me once again. I really just wish she would just be my friend and stuff sometimes and be less demanding. She almost never seems like she wants to be my friend and seems like she just wants me to entertain her. I feel like i'm just a circus bear in her eyes. Big, stupid, but funny. No other uses though. No one loves them. What the fuck is the point of taming a bear...... i would just stop hanging out with her and stuff but she's really cool most of the time. She just has those crucial moments when she hates me. I dunno what to do. I just wish that she was ok with me and Tanya. Why can't people just have fun. I wish everyone was stupid and just did what was fun for themselves and everyone else. I wish that everyone was compasionate and understanding. Then people would only do what's best for others and then wrongs were done there wouldn't be any problem because people would understand them. Fuck the world Current Music: Slipknot (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 27th, 2001
10:51 pm	said goodbye to amy I talked to melissa for the first time in ten months in person today. It was pretty cool. She's almost all better now but neither of us know where to go from here. I think we both want to be friends again but we have to get over the past now. It's really weird because i don't think she wants to be friends actually and that she just wants to stay away from me really and doesn't really care about me. I can't tell right now. I'm going to have out with her some more so i can figure it out. Tanya got mad today because instead of going over to her house to give her a back massage that i didn't know about i went to a birthday party that she was invited to. I didn't know what was going on until i talked to Tanya who had tried to call me three times. She was mad when i called her because she had wanted to see me and it's kind of crappy because she wouldn't talk to me about it. I tried to get her to talk but Jeremy was there and kept interrupting so i was kind of out of ideas. Time came and she left for dance. I didn't get to see her after that though because i went over to CC's and then to Amy's. First i had to pee in a urin cup too. Fucken-shit!! When i got to CC's i tried to park in this one place and it was fucking small and i think i dinged the other car that was over there on the way into it. I looked at the car and couldn't really see anything wrong and didn't really feel like dealing with that shit because it was a crappy ass car. No witnesses were around so i drove away!!! i'm so paranoid that i'm going to get caught though. I checked my car once i parked somewhere else and there wasn't a scracth on it! So i think i'm pretty clean. I talked to CC for a bit about how she was pissing me off and making me feel like shit and how i hated how CC bashed Tanya all the time. It's really been getting to me lately and i'm having like the worst time dealing with it now. I have'nt been able to take much teasing from some people anymore because they don't seem to compliment me at all and just use me for good laughs. CC doesn't feel that it's true but probably doesn't really care and sees it as just a way of showing you love someone. I'm just tired of it because even when you keep pocking someone long enough u'll give them a nice lil bruise. I don't know what to do with Tanya either. I wish she would have just told me more stuff but she wouldn't. I feel like she's trying to run the relationship on her own but won't really try to work with me on it. I keep trying to get her to work with me and she won't go along with it. She doesn't talk to me about everything and just gets angry. I ended up shedding some tears at CC's house because of all the shit that's been happening and how i wish that CC would just kind of not be so involved but that never works because she's the reason that we started going out. I felt like shit when i left and then tried to hide it when i was at amy's. That didn't work so i just started being like i was at CC's. I started trying to get amy to talk about stuff though. She couldn't come straight out and admit anything. I found out some things that really hurt me. She's been trying to push me out of her life for the past 3 months. She's been trying to push me out of her heart. I can't let her do that though because i don't want her to not think of me as any less. At the same time i don't want to lose Tanya. I told her that she could steal me if she wanted to because she had the power. She is too nice to keep from doing that though so i just don't know how to take it all now. She gave me the manuscript to her book when i left. I wish i could have given her a kiss good bye but i didn't want to hurt her. I've come to the decision that showing affection only seems to create pain in others and that creates pain on yourself. I'm getting really sick of just being the jester who brings pain with love. I think that love blossoms from pain. I dunno what's up with this bull shit...... i'm going to sleep again it's late and i get to go to the beach tomorrow and work things out with tanya....... god i really do love tanya.zzzzzzzzz Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
11:17 pm	Casey called CC's!!! I found out today that it wasn't Tanya that had called. It was her friend Casey, who sounds just like Tanya on the phone and even i mix them up at times(yes it is sad but they're voices are that similar). Stupid bitch. She made CC even more pissed now and it's just all stupid. Casey stole the number from Tanya's cell phone and called in the loby. I have to admit that CC is taking it all to wrongly. She doesn't care about the phone call though and it's kind of weird though because she still fights with me to blame it on Tanya. "Tanya shouldn't have been telling Casey that you were going to be hanging out with me all day" said CC. It's not like it should really matter what Tanya tells anyone. It's annoying to see how CC takes this shit. I want to see them as friends again like they were before i came back into CC's life. Now all that CC does is bitch about Tanya and say all this fucked up shit about her. It really makes me all depressed. I wish that CC wouldn't be so fucking involved in my relationship and just let me be happy with Tanya. But now CC is trying to turn this all around on Tanya again and it's just going to make things worse. CC is telling me that Casey only acts on stuff if she knows that Tanya is hurt about something. Which would mean that Tanya is lying to me when she tells me that she didn't care. It's kind of stupid. I talked to Jenn today which was the first time in a while. It was kind of cool. Now i'm sitting here waiting for her to wake up so i can call her and talk to her again. I wish she wasn't so psycho though. When i got off the phone with CC I talked to Amy who just pissed me off even more and i just couldn't take any shit at all and so amy kind of pushed me over the edge and didn't understand me. I wish amy was a little bit more compasionate about things than she is now because then i'm left with all this stuff from her that makes me want to just...... run away.... i dunno. I'm probably going to work over at Albertsons now. I have to take a drug test first. It should go fine though so it won't really matter. Then i'll have some money and i'll be able to do things with my friends again. Then everything will be awesome and i'll be all good. I can't wait until then. Me and Tanya are pretty good right now and have basically just been saying that everyone needs to get the fuck out of our relationship. Jenny is still in England and i guess that i'm going to have to write her some more e-mails now because i love her so much and she's fuckin awesome. Current Mood: crappy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:54 am	I hung out with my friends today but not my gf. Today would be our second month anniversary and i didn't get to see her. On top of all that i spent almost all the day with a person that she's jealous of me spending time with. The weird part is that someone called my friends house sounding like my gf and everything, asked for me, and then said she was someone else. Really weird. I dunno though. Things have been weird from the start with my gf. I love her and everything but i just wish things didn't have to get so strange sometimes. I don't know how i can prevent them either because it's just me hanging out with my friends. It wasn't even our two month anniversary really because we broke up last week and got back together like two hours later. i had to run after her to get her to talk to me because i had broken up with her. It really hurt her and she was crying and trying to run away in a dress and sandle. So it wasn't hard for me to keep up with her but i couldn't get her to talk to me or anything. I don't know what to do. Why would my friends' mom lie to me about her calling and saying it was someone else? But then again i called my house and no one had called for me the whole time i was gone. So why wouldn't she have called my house first. She knew i was going to be at my friends house all day anyways. I ended up doing some weigt training in the morning, taking a shower, eating too much pizza and bread sticks, and then going to a sparing class that was all a bunch of tae kwan doe peeps who wouldn't hit me because i'm new. It pissed me off because i box and wrestle and it's not like i had no clue what i was doing. The instructors there think i'm really good and everything and want me to join the gym. All i want to do is box though. I can't kick worth shit. I can wrestle fairly well... but they wouldn't let me grapple because they didn't want me going to the floor with people yet. I accidently hit my friend in the head really hard. It wasn't my strongist blow but it was a nice blow to the side of the head. It stunned him and i felt horrible after that because i'm used to hitting to the head but ur not supposed to do that there. I should really call my friend amy back. I was supposed to hang out with her today but i didn't get a hold of her. It pissed me off because she was going to do stuff with me. She's a really good friend and everything but she likes me and is scared of comming between me and Tanya, my gf, so she backs off from me all the time. I hate it because i'm a flirty kind of guy and everything and i feel hurt when such a good friend doesn't want to hang out with me. She doesn't return my calls either right now. I don't know if she's not getting the messages from her dad or what but it's starting to piss me off. I really want to hang out with Tanya again. I don't really care if she did call CC's house, my good friend, and tell her it was someone else. It doesn't really matter to me. Doesn't effect me really and there is no way to prove that it was really her. So what's the point in doing anything about it? I'm just going to forget about it and go on with life with her and be happy. I'm tired. Current Mood: depressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:51 am	tanya called as kathleen?? I hung out with my friends today but not my gf. Today would be our second month anniversary and i didn't get to see her. On top of all that i spent almost all the day with a person that she's jealous of me spending time with. The weird part is that someone called my friends house sounding like my gf and everything, asked for me, and then said she was someone else. Really weird. I dunno though. Things have been weird from the start with my gf. I love her and everything but i just wish things didn't have to get so strange sometimes. I don't know how i can prevent them either because it's just me hanging out with my friends. It wasn't even our two month anniversary really because we broke up last week and got back together like two hours later. i had to run after her to get her to talk to me because i had broken up with her. It really hurt her and she was crying and trying to run away in a dress and sandle. So it wasn't hard for me to keep up with her but i couldn't get her to talk to me or anything. I don't know what to do. Why would my friends' mom lie to me about her calling and saying it was someone else? But then again i called my house and no one had called for me the whole time i was gone. So why wouldn't she have called my house first. She knew i was going to be at my friends house all day anyways. I ended up doing some weigt training in the morning, taking a shower, eating too much pizza and bread sticks, and then going to a sparing class that was all a bunch of tae kwan doe peeps who wouldn't hit me because i'm new. It pissed me off because i box and wrestle and it's not like i had no clue what i was doing. The instructors there think i'm really good and everything and want me to join the gym. All i want to do is box though. I can't kick worth shit. I can wrestle fairly well... but they wouldn't let me grapple because they didn't want me going to the floor with people yet. I accidently hit my friend in the head really hard. It wasn't my strongist blow but it was a nice blow to the side of the head. It stunned him and i felt horrible after that because i'm used to hitting to the head but ur not supposed to do that there. I should really call my friend amy back. I was supposed to hang out with her today but i didn't get a hold of her. It pissed me off because she was going to do stuff with me. She's a really good friend and everything but she likes me and is scared of comming between me and Tanya, my gf, so she backs off from me all the time. I hate it because i'm a flirty kind of guy and everything and i feel hurt when such a good friend doesn't want to hang out with me. She doesn't return my calls either right now. I don't know if she's not getting the messages from her dad or what but it's starting to piss me off. I really want to hang out with Tanya again. I don't really care if she did call CC's house, my good friend, and tell her it was someone else. It doesn't really matter to me. Doesn't effect me really and there is no way to prove that it was really her. So what's the point in doing anything about it? I'm just going to forget about it and go on with life with her and be happy. I'm tired. Current Mood: lost (Comment on this)